Everyone meet Daniel, my super-smart, handsome, empath baby boy. It feels like just yesterday I held him in my arms for the very first time, and today, he is turning 7. Where has the time gone? I can’t help but to look at him and realize how much he changed me. The years with him in it have been the best, most rewarding, of my life, but they’ve also been some of the most difficult, most terrifying. And he’s been there with me, loving me, through it all.

As I sit here going through his baby pictures, I am filled with an overwhelming sense gratitude that God chose someone as unworthy as me, to be his mother. Honestly, I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve to have love in its purest form. I remember when I was pregnant I struggled with trying to understand how I was going to love someone when I didn’t even love myself. I remember thinking,

“there’s someone else more qualified. But not me. “

I wanted to be his mother, but there was a part of me that had me convinced I’d fail. I wonder if this is how my mother felt, or her mother , someone else other than me that would make me feel like I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t crazy and that this was something normal that all expecting mothers go through. But I realized that that wasn’t the case, but maybe it was for my family; a generation cycle.

By definition a cycle is a series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order; rotation; a pattern or rhythm. When looking at my life, my mothers life, my grandmothers life, and even my great- grandmothers life, I’m shook, linking all of the similarities that have transferred from generation to generation.

My great grandmother, God rest her soul, was a single mom of 9. She died young from malignant breast cancer when my grandmother was just a little girl. My grandmother was then sent to live with a family in Michigan, who treated her like dirt beneath their feet. Although she had sisters none of them took her in, offered her guidance, and no one showed her love. She was pregnant at 16. Her and my grandfather married soon after. They were divorced by the time my mom was in her teens. My mom was pregnant with me at 18. Her and my father officially went their separate ways before I was old enough to realize he was gone. I was pregnant with Daniel at 18. His father and I decided to call it quits after Daniel’s first birthday.

Somebody say, “cycles”

When looking at my family history I realize some of the things we have in common.

1. We were teen moms. This is never easy. Like ever.

2. After having children, we had failed relationships with their fathers. I could do a whole post on this (and I will eventually) but for purposes of this blog, I want to focus on the fact that the failed relationship with Daniel’s dad automatically made me feel as if I failed my son. I felt as if I just made it that much more difficult for him by making it to where he had to be raised in two separate households. The example that is suppose to be set by parents is something we failed to do. Instead, I felt as if we put forth an example of getting pregnant young and not being able to stay together, thus giving this generational cycle more room to spread to yet another generation.

BUT..

That ends TUHDAY!!!

You must first realize that there is a generational cycle, a cycle that you inherited. Some of us are stuck in situations and in places that we are only in because of something our great great great grand daddy did. Not only that but the lasting effects of sin are likely passed down. For example, if a woman has a sinful lifestyle her children may be subject to the same type of lifestyle. If you can acknowledge and understand that you are stuck in one of these cycles, you can make the necessary changes to make sure that it doesn’t continue in you or your children. Your lifestyle MUST change, and if you need help doing that, seek it because some of you are also stuck in cycles because you refuse to push, or do anything about it.

In the bible, Israel repented and refused to serve false idols, God saved them and the curse was broken. What does this mean?

Repent. And then repent some more. Repentance is us acknowledging the sin associated with these cycles and when it’s done purely, God hears and delivers.

As people of God, He has given us power to speak to whatever curse, demon, spirit, or cycle that has us bound, and not only that but, the power to break, move, denounce, and bind it. You must realize that this power I speak of lives in you! With that power I rebuke every generational curse that comes to destroy my family and my children’s future. I crush the devil’s head with the word of the Living God, and I send every assignment of the enemy back to the sender. I declare and decree that the chains are broken, falling and shall be no more. The things that hindered my parents will no longer dwell in me; they will not touch my children or my children’s children. I call it done!

To my first born, on your birthday, I thank God for giving you life. I thank Him for assigning you to me and giving me you. In you, I see His light and am in awe of His declaration of love that is evident by the mere fact that you live. Before you came, I was only existing. You gave me purpose. God knew that the way to reach and save me was through being your mother. It is an honor to serve you, son. I pray that I am a good example of a woman, and a woman of God, for you. I hope I make you proud. Thank you for challenging me to be the best version of myself. Thank you for pushing me in my calling. You give me so much strength and I promise for as long as I have breath in my body and beyond, you will never be alone. Your destiny is great, I feel it in my bones. You will go forth and do God’s work and will lead many of His people to Him. In your bloodline lies greatness and to be able to be the one who gets to be there with you every step of the way is a dream come true. For your birthday, the greatest gift I can give you is that of a broken cycle, so that you may live free without the effects of the sin from the generations before you. Everything attached to you wins and prospers and loves and saves. You have a clean slate, baby. Continue to make me proud.

I love you forever and ever times infinity to the moon and stars and back again,

Happy Birthday,

Mommy

xoxo